Friday, February 20, 2009

The FB --- 13 Lessons

A colleague asked me to join facebook several weeks ago and as a result I have learned a few things:
  1. I find it a real time sink, because pages take forever to load with my rural connection.
  2. I have discovered 'friends' of friends of distant friends and these are people I rarely see or talk to...so that is kind of interesting and disconcerting at the same time to open these connections and see their photos after decades.
  3. I 'chatted live' for several minutes with my son who was online at the same time at 1:40 in the early morning. Intermittent insomnia is obviously genetic. This was a greater exchange of words than we have had in months as he never rarely answers my emails or phone calls! While the chat was quick and superficial...at least we connected.
  4. Since on facebook you have dozens (in some cases 100s to 1,000s) of people who can read what you write and know who you are...you have to really avoid "thinking out loud." (i.e. you cannot "write on a friend's 'wall'" about how so-and-so has aged or put on so much weight and you should not post in detail about that rather crazy party you recently attended as the younger members so unwisely do...complete with photos.)
  5. It is kind of like being at a cocktail party with absolutely everyone you know listening to most every word you say and you are getting dizzy from the multiple ongoing tiny conversations since many of the people you overhear are people you barely know and they are not talking to everyone as they are at a different party.
  6. In one session you may see or read brief notes about a sonogram, a drinking party, a political rally, an open invite to the movies and mountain hike depending on the diversity of your "friends."
  7. Some of my kids 30-something friends think I am cool for joining and I must admit that is an ego boost when you are approaching crone-hood. I am kind of glad this technology was not around when I was 20-something as I am sure I have forgotten more embarrassing adventures than I like to admit and I would hate to have had them made available to all my future friends down the road.
  8. I have yet to reach and comment on the page of the colleague who originally asked me to join while I have "written on the wall" of many others!
  9. This must be a demographers and social scientists dream. I hope I am still alive to read the books on the analysis of this phenomena and the analysis of culture.
  10. FB ---as the 'young folks' call it (what an old foggy phrase)---has said they cannot promise that you can permanently delete anything you post...it will always be floating out there somewhere having been captured by someone else...just like those embarrassing incidents in high school that come up at reunions.
  11. If you follow current events regarding these social networking sites you will know that there are still important questions about copyright and ongoing use of material you write and the photos you upload in this venue. ( I have taken a few copyright seminars and this sounds like a nightmare.)
  12. When I eventually load my FB page...after much delay in loading...it is kind of like finding myself in a tabloid over which I have some control.
  13. The FB does give the impression that some people spend all their time networking rather than working at work! This is another questionable impression a young person does not want to make.
Some Lagniappe: The new TV series "Trust Me" on TNT had an episode recently where the dad who is an advertising man secretly got the password and logged on to his teenage daughter's FB page and found she had only three friends, one of them her teacher. Being an ad man he was concerned that this represented her lack of popularity. She is portrayed as a bit of a geek in the series. He sent her an electronic message asking to be a 'friend' and she denied him. When he asked about it and about her few friends she said that she was just being very selective. Is FB like being in junior high once again? (Another rant about FB here.)

10 comments:

  1. HA! It probably is. I couldn't agree more with #7, and all of them, really. I enjoy FB, and it has put me in touch with a few people I wouldn't otherwise hear from (until school reunions) and that is enjoyable. I even found, by accident, the son of my old high school boyfriend (now deceased). That was weird!

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  2. Anonymous12:26 PM

    I really appreciated your analysis of Facebook...something I joined recently but have been most reluctant to participate actively. I never sought the lack of privacy that comes with any kind of public persona. However, it is indeed a most intriguing phenomena...the 30 somethings are all over it, as well as the high school crowd. That's why I wanted to know what was going on with the children and grandchildren...they were kind enough to let me be a "friend". It has been a grand way to re-connect with our former foreign exchange students as well.

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  3. Ah you just named almost every reason why I'm not interested in it. My sister had me join so I could gain access to some pages regarding our home town. All I kept seeing were notes her friends were writing to one another. It was invasive and annoying. I didn't delete the account but I have little to zero interest in returning. I hope it proves to be more fun for you. For me.. I just don't get it. :)

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  4. I'm on FB and it is a time sink but I like taking care of a farm at Farm Town and a virtual pet. lol

    It's soooo slow!

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  5. I joined FB to find out about a family reunion. I realized like you that everyone can read everything. I have slowed down my comments. I did see that FB cannot keep your info if you decide to cancel your membership.

    You really wrote my thoughts so well. I do not think I could have done that so well.

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  6. I can't keep up with blogging so I don't think that I will try facebook.

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  7. I was also asked to join FB recently. I started but the very next day I read the article in the news about the photo controvesy.

    Sigh. I am sort of stalled out at this point.

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  8. All very true comments. I wonder if the fact that nobody works at work anymore but just comments on everyone else (like I'm doing now) is the reason the economy has tanked. Probably not...that is just greed...but Facebook is certainly a vortex. Also another addiction I need to work on. Are there Facebook Anonymous meetings anywhere? I know. Probably on Facebook.

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  9. I really enjoy Facebook and joined while I was at work and now I am retired so I have used it at home and work.

    People at uni use it differently to say journalists.

    I use it to keep an eye on many friends and how they are doing (yes its called Stalkbook in our family!) - oh and family and other blogging friends too. Our village amateur dramatics group has a group on there even!

    And I play Scrabble, well Wordscraper which is excellent.

    So I just thought I would add my "pennorth" of views, and will try to find you on there!

    Its generated many comments too!

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  10. I don't feel happy about Facebook. I've got a page but I never use it and when people ask to be my friend I always reply that I haven't got time. I'm already friendly with as many solid bodies as I can manage and I meet new people through my blog every day. This business of proving ones popularity doesn't get my vote.

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