Monday, April 13, 2009

Cautious and Secretive


As you are reading this I am probably on a cruise ship heading to Nassau, or perhaps on the Disney Island beach watching my grandchildren run in the surf, or maybe in the bar of the ship having that final nightcap after all the Disney creatures get tucked into bed (least likely scenario). I have pre-scheduled this post so you don't forget me. I look forward to reading your comments when I get back.

It seems to me that the more popular blogs are those where people post their true identity and their actual pictures. I think we are more comfortable reading about someone we know is real and then it seems more honest because they show us who they are and tell us where they live either generically or more specifically. They are up front with us and we like that.

I think I commented once on my blog about my need for anonymity as I blog. I comment about relatives and friends and want the freedom to say exactly what is in/on my mind and not feel I have to couch terms to avoid hurt feelings or misunderstandings. A reader of my blog might think I do not say anything too controversial about others that I know, and perhaps they are right. But I still like to be able to write whatever I feel at the time. While I might be a liberal in many areas I am rather conservative in terms of my privacy. I really don't need those I love/dislike to know I am going through a down time or having second thoughts about decisions in my life. But it gives me pleasure to post this personal journal for my loyal blogger friends to comment on. (As Colleen writes
"Things I would not tell anyone, I tell the public." ~ Michel de Montaigne.")

There are other reasons why I do not blog more honestly. While I admire those who are 'out there' in all truth with their identities, I am a bit of a worry wart. I fear that being able to learn much about my grand-children from reading this blog could give a lurking pedophile an edge up on contacting them and becoming friends. Carefully reading several years of posts can give a good detective many clues about an identity. Sure, the odds are stupendous that this would happen. (Really, Tabor, how many people do you think actually read your blog?)

Also, I worry that telling others when I am on travel is like putting a sign up for lurkers who can find my house and take advantage of it. It is just like the community/church newsletter where people put in comments about their trips AFTER they return.

I guess the thought is always in the back of my mind that whatever you blog can end up on the front pages of the major newspaper. People have lost jobs, gotten divorced and even committed suicide due to something published on their or another's blog. This process is not as private as we tend to think, and unfortunately, people are not as nice as we like to think.

When ML came to visit last winter on her book promotion tour, I had to reveal my honest name and email so that she could stay with us. But that was no problem as I am not hiding my identity from my readers, just those millions of lurkers out there. (Yes, I repeat, probably very few lurk at my blog...but it only takes one crazy person.)

Therefore, I will continue to remain a mysterious woman of culture and education and sensitivity!

Now that I think of it, this post might be a story-line for the Butler and Bagman Chronicles. Although he would make it funny and sexy while I seem to be making it sad and scary.

(I wonder if I am getting seasick right now....?)

13 comments:

  1. Tabor I agree totally with you.
    One year ago thought of starting out that way - I did not.
    Now with my grandchildren - I am thinking - no more images.
    I do not like feeling uneasy about them. Also there are subjects I would like to write about or "people" and I do not. Had thoughts of starting another private journal. Just a thought.
    Don't get sunburn. Enjoy yourself.

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  2. Honestly, every time I read your post, your anonymity doesn't concern me at all because you can still express your ideas clearly without revealing names or going into specifics. :)

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  3. I read many anonymous blogs and it doesn't bother me at all. I understand the reason for it; my family members feel just as you do about remaining unknown to the lurkers of the world.

    Sometimes I'd like to be able to post more personal stuff, but too many people read my blog who know who and where I am, so I can't.

    Have a great vacation!!

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  4. Bagman can't make it a book right now because he is on a speedboat trying to chase down cruise ships in hopes of dancing the night away with you. But I understand the concept that what you right could end up in the newspapers...or more scary, on your boss's computer.

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  5. Call me naive, but it never occurred to me that there might be danger in posting personal information on my blog. I guess I just thought that not many people would read it. I guess I had better rethink this.

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  6. i get it totally.

    i love facebook where even though i am still careful with photos i am more myself and use my name. those little 2 liners are easy to do and keep everyone updated with tiny parts of our lives.

    hope you are having a nightcap about now and enjoying the moonlight. :)

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  7. To each his/her own. You certainly shouldn't feel the need to explain. Every blogger should do what's comfortable for them. My family, friends and neighbours know I blog - most don't read it. ;) I would be very hesitant to post photos of grandchildren when they come along too. And the only photos of kidlets that I have posted have had full parental permission. I totally get your concern in that area.

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  8. Thanks for this post! I am fairly new to blogging, and began in the first place just to write small pieces of sad memories and regrets. Things that my friends (who only know my sunny self) don't need to know. No design, photos or theme. Then I discovered that people read and comment - and I realized that I now have new friends who know me by what I write. I love following what others write and am awed by their thoughts. I am inspired and may soon buy a camera!

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  9. I too have those concerns, I just took a photo of a grandkid and myself off Facebook. I'm most uncomfortable about the grandkids. Part of the fun of blogging for me is to be myself and I have no qualms with you maintaining your privacy, your posts are great.

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  10. I don't know your real name! That's okay. I felt vulnerable when I first started blogging, maybe I'm in denial but I don't so much anymore. There is lots of stuff I leave out and only share it if I can elevate it in some universal way. I don't use my blog to vent. I know that what I write is a record that I want to be able to stand behind. I have felt uneasy about traveling and writing about that on my blog. I do have fears about being robbed because I have been before, long ago. Sometimes I seriously wonder, what's it all about Alfie? and where is this whole internet thing leading. I continue to wonder how big a blog can get. Everything is finite isn't it?

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  11. Tabor
    You are singing our song
    you have done a wonderful job of putting words to my feelings.


    Hope you are enjoying the cruise:)

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  12. I agree with you. There are just too many nut cases out there, and I will not put my family at risk. Had a long talk with my children about their facebooks, and those of the the grands. Suffice it to say they all have private ones now, which lets them share with only those they choose to.
    Hope your having a great time.

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  13. I worried but my children put the children on the web. I do not think we need to worry about them being hunted in my words, but at the playground, the mall, the front yard. I just try and pray for their safety. Is Tabor not your name????Also, post after you have been on a trip, in post time....

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Take your time...take a deep breath...then hit me with your best shot.