We have lived in this community less than five years and while hubby collects friends like my socks collect seed burrs, I do not. Oh, I AM friendly, just things do not evolve into luncheons with someone or dual shopping trips, or wood walks or weekly phone calls. Hubby has a fishing partner--actually two, a project building partner, a "business" partner, etc. He is easily liked by everyone. I like to think I am easily likable but it does not transition into any BF or BFF profiles.
I am long-term friends with women I went to junior high school, high school, college, and with roommates I had in my early career moves. We are great friends, but live thousands of miles away from each other and our paths may cross only every eight years or so.
While some of the women I have met here are compatible, it never evolves into anything. I told the wife of one of my husband's fishing buddies that the week hubbies are gone to islands far away, we should get together for at least lunch. She agreed, but I am doubting this will happen because she has a high school son and a college son at home AND works full time at a hospital. I will screw my courage to the sticking place and see if I can get something organized when the week transpires...my new mantra.
Another volunteer I work with and that I like suggested we should get together for dinner with our hubbies. I agreed and waited to see if she wanted to initiate the dinner. She didn't make any move, so as much as I hate inviting strangers for dinner I decided to be more pro-active in this social networking dance and invited them to dinner. I prepared a careful (too fancy?) meal of curry squash soup, arugula-goat cheese-fig salad, roasted turkey breast with roasted fall root vegetables and tested my new kaffir lime cheesecake recipe since I got about 14 limes from our tree this year! They brought cheese and crackers and wine.
The dinner seemed to be a big success, the conversation went on until almost 11:00 which is really late for old folks such as us. We have a lot in common including former working agencies, education and outdoor interests. I will keep you posted if this goes anywhere! (Let me know if you will be in town and I can practice on you!)
Good luck with it. I am not one to want too many friends around because I need the time with the creative work; but I also see the need for social outlets. My current best friend lives in the valley here but we only get together in real time now and then. We do, however, chat on Skype (the typed version not the phone) pretty much once a day which might be politics, creative work or about our families. Skype is good for me that way as messenger used to be. It enables creative connection without it interfering with all day. Where I am editing right now, not a fun job, I especially need to not have distractions nearby. Out here I have had close friends but they all moved off or had new interests; so anything I want to do with a friend requires a long drive.
ReplyDeleteI wish I lived close enough for you to practice on. That sounds like a tremendous menu you prepared.
ReplyDeleteGood Luck... We live in a very social community --with all kinds of classes offered and groups for various interests. So far, George and I (by choice) have not gotten involved much socially. Maybe someday, we'll feel the need to branch out more. Right now, we just stay busy doing our own thing.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Betsy
Good for you. My old friends are scattered far and wide. I have one really good friend here and some acquaintances. I am pretty involved with my family still and I think that slows things down.
ReplyDeleteGood for you. My old friends are scattered far and wide. I have one really good friend here and some acquaintances. I am pretty involved with my family still and I think that slows things down.
ReplyDeleteDinner sounds delicious to me. I understand your situation. When I think of moving to a new place, I stop those thoughts right away. No way am I interested in making new friends at this age. However, if put in that situation, I one has to go for it as you have with your dinner party. In the years when we did move, sometimes I met friends of friends of those i invited that I clicked with. I hope this works for you. I understand how hard it can be.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the honesty of this post. I am pretty sure the couple you entertained were most pleased with the invitation and enjoyed themselves and your wonderful dinner so much. Someone has to take the first step, right? Good for you!
ReplyDeleteThis is interesting because my sister commented yesterday about my new found friends. I had not realized that our friends before were friends Ron had made. Now I am making new friends that I did not even know were out there. Most are widows but we seem to have more in common than just losing our spouses.
ReplyDeleteUnderstand all you share and I am a lot like you. Now at this time of life seems I stay busy with personal projects and maintaining
ReplyDeletethat my days fly by. I do reach out daily to someone, smile at strangers and at this time of life I am content and no longer searching for anything - it is good and I may not be normal.
Then again
I am older then you and all that comment and have led busy involved lifestyles in the past and now just
Peace
and health
the most important.
You did practice on us, and I consider you a delightful though distant friend. Yes, most of my friends are left over from college. So many of my arts friends have died that, typical of old folks, I find my friend base shrinking rapidly.
ReplyDeleteWow. That is quite the amazing meal you put together. I might be concerned if I was the one invited and I had to go next.
ReplyDeleteI am not a friends collector either. And like you, it's not because I'm not a friendly person. But it is because I am an introvert and often I just like doing things on my own.
I always think that making new friends is like dating! Sometimes it works out and sometimes not. Enjoy the process!
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing I have good friends here, formed around raising our children mostly, because I am not good at hosting anything and don't like to. I hate shopping with anyone, can't concentrate and don't like to wait or comment on other people's styles. I sound like a humbug and in these ways I am.
ReplyDeleteI loved when we moved to Texas because I didn't know anyone (other than my husband's family) and loved being anonymous. But when I moved to Floyd I didn't have a choice. Everyone seemed like old friends!
Playing Scrabble has worked in the past to broaden my friendship horizons.
Decoration: Oh, not fancy. Most of everything are handme downs. Most things are worn out, repaired where it doesn't show, and hidden with seasonal pillows just like yours. Yes, I too am trying to simplify, but it doesn't work at all well...this week.
ReplyDeleteLove reading your post!
ReplyDeleteYour dinner looks delicious!
I understand you and I am a lot like you. We have been living in country, a place that looks like a "farm", isolate from friends... Even than, my husband is more social and he socialize much more than me with some neighbors...
Fortunately our son and his family with our two lovely grandchildren live near us.
Hope you and your husband have a nice Sunday.