Exhausted and just halfway through my company/social life marathon. It will finally come to an end when granddaughter, the last house guest, goes home to start school on September 6. I sometimes question my propensity for solitude and quiet and hedonistic activities as I age. Then a month like this past one comes along where we are always on the move either entertaining or going somewhere or taking people somewhere...
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| A quiet morning canoe ride. |
I did read the blogs or listen to friends who are facing serious challenges such as Alzheimer's, stroke, difficult issues with their children or serious budget problems and the smothering cloud of guilt settles on my self-serving shoulders as I even think of complaining about my life of too much to do.
Then I enter a month like this August where it is an endless parade of company and visits, and while I love them all to death---I really do, I wonder why I cannot keep treading water without gasping for air...without wishing I was on an island all alone...somewhere all alone. And yet, I know I most likely will have that in my future and will I then face loneliness? Am I that person who is never satisfied?
I have been posting of our family reunion, and it's nice to look back upon, but truth be told, it was not always easy for this introvert. It has been nice to chill in almost splendid isolation for the past week.
ReplyDeleteI so hear you on this one. I am spending today sitting in a darkened room and rocking til my nerves revive.
ReplyDeleteI love my friends and family, but as I get older, the three day rule has dropped to two days.
ReplyDeleteI think we can all commiserate with you about too much company. I heard once that after three days, all company starts to have an odor! But it might be pretty true. We all love our solitude, and I really enjoy just hubby and me and the dog.
ReplyDeleteIntrovert who can function as an extrovert when needed-- but not from where their energy is acquired... That's my story and I'm sticking to it :)
ReplyDeleteI prefer solitude to constant socializing. I don't think of it as loneliness cause I'm not lonely. summer for us is one grandkid visit after another which I dearly love, and this year a visit from out of state relatives, but when school starts back I always sigh with relief.
ReplyDeleteIn years past
ReplyDeletecould relate to all you share
and I was right there with you.
Finally
peaceful moments have arrived
but then in October much of family is visiting.
Will love it
and when everyone is gone like that too :)
It's a matter of energy to me.
ReplyDeleteSame here, I treasure my personal time. I came from a family of people who read a lot and carried their books with them everywhere. I'm also an introvert with some extrovert mixed in but without my quietude the extrovert shrinks. I think of myself as having a personal savings account of social energy. In order to keep it filled I make deposits of time on my own, more so as I age. I'm very invested in my family so I do want to be actively present when I'm with them which is often.
ReplyDeleteNo, you are that person who is OD'd on visitors. Perhaps you can schedule them differently next year. Yes, I know that they all will soon be grown and gone, still your complaints are really valid. I'm like Celia with a bookish, quiet family background. Just today grocery shopping I ran out of energy...totally, and I turned into a mushy, forgetful shopper. If only I could have sat for a few moments,.... LOL
ReplyDeleteYou are, most likely, just a person who needs to be let alone a certain amount of time each day to reset your internal barometer. Right now, you aren't getting that, and it takes a toll.
ReplyDeleteI love that photo of everyone lined up in the bush track.
ReplyDeleteYou sound like me, an introvert who needs alone time to refresh and refuel, even in the midst of company you love.
ReplyDeleteIt is nice to have a change in our life during our routine work...
ReplyDeleteNo, don't think so. Having all the people is fun, but exhausting. You can spend the days after their departure in a putting mode. Regain yourself. Rest up.
ReplyDeleteIt is different when you are in the midst of it all the time. I am used to my kids and the craziness they bring. But when you are used to your life and your routine and for an entire month it is extra people and activities then it is just exhausting. When we have people visit us I feel the same way you do. It is just different when there are guests. Give yourself a break. I think, of course, you enjoy your visitors but it is difficult.
ReplyDelete