Sunday, October 29, 2017

The Fly on the Wall at Lunch With My Daughter



Subtitle: Why I am dressing as a ghoul for Halloween.


Me:  I saw those photos that you posted on FB.  With those women.  What were you celebrating?

Daughter:  It was sort of a bachelorette party for J.  She is getting married.

Me: Who is J?  Do I know her?


Daughter:  Remember she lives across the street?


Me:  The woman with a 7-year-old son and a daughter in a wheelchair?  I thought she was married?


Daughter:  No, they got divorced two years ago.  He already re-married and now she is re-marrying.


Me:  (Frowning)  Really...that is too bad.


Daughter:  No, Mom, is it all OK.  They have worked it all out and he lives nearby and takes the kids enough of the time.  They are happy.


Me:  So you also had dinner with M the other night. Just the two of you.  How did that go?
(M is an extremely special person to me, and I could not love her more if she was my own.)

Daughter:  She is still struggling.  She has no one to really talk to help her through this.

Me:  What about B?

Daughter:  B is really busy with the new baby.  Remember how you and I could never have a decent conversation once my son was 9 months and mobile?

Me:  Yeah.  I remember the shock of returning to the attempt to talk to adults with little ones.  What about her best friend S?

Daughter:  Well S discovered last month a lump in her breast and she has been diagnosed with metastasized breast cancer.  She may end up having both breasts removed.

Me:  (Sighing out loud and trying to fight back tears.)  Did M's weekend with the old college girlfriends help?  She posted pictures on FB.

Daughter:  Yes, but they are a day's drive away and both of them are really struggling with money issues in their families, so unable to drive up and visit at all.

Daughter:  She told me that she really has no one except her therapist.  She told me she is taking a collection of meds...antidepressants, etc.


Me:  ( I am frightened and speechless.)  Well, can we plan a "girls" weekend soon...maybe as a gift for her upcoming birthday?


Daughter:  Sure, just I cannot squeeze anything in until January. 


(My daughter is not exaggerating as she is always on the go with three kids and a very busy job that requires travel.  I am depressed among other things.)

The photo above is a solar-powered garbage barge in the harbor of the city. It cleans up all the paper and plastic and crap that blows from the restaurant tables of people busy living their lives but it does nothing to remove the ugly film of oil that floats on the surface constantly.

15 comments:

  1. As Grandpa always says, it's a great life if you don't weaken.

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  2. counting my blessings

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  3. Oh my. Life is a challenge. You don't know what people are going through...

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  4. Tough times all around eh?

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  5. That breaks my heart, too. What a lot of difficult times ahead for your daughter and, consequently, you. Sending you my prayers and wishes for some good news sometime soon. :-(

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  6. It sounds as though your daughter and her friends are in the difficult stage of life I always associate with the early 40s. We can only hope they pass through relatively unscathed and offer positive thoughts.

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  7. Your daughter certainly is a people person in knowing what they are going through. A lot don't want to know and most don't force their stories on others. Sounds like you raised a loving woman.

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  8. I'm sending positive thoughts for a positive outcome.

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  9. This is an important essay on how we live today. I asked friend Dixie if she ever got the cards I send. "Oh yes, and I will keep them forever." But I don't think she reads the contents.
    M does have a therapist, and if he/she is any good, they will get M out into the world again one hopes.

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  10. with 3 daughter's and 2 grown granddaughter's
    understand the way life is at this time.
    sometimes we communicate well and other times not too good.
    tabor, cannot post on blog and trying to solve
    miss writing...
    take care these solo weeks

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  11. What a lot to cope with. As Marie Smith said, you rarely know what others are having to go through. But your daughter is obviously the sort who makes it her business to know and to empathise. Good for her.
    P.S. we could do with some of those garbage collectors over here in the UK.

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  12. I see the sneaky sex spammer in comment above with the signature link that’s making the rounds on all our blogs in one form or another is besieging your blog, too.

    When I looked at that photo initially I thought it was some sort of art creation. As for dialogue content, certainly is a lot with which to cope. Those years when so much is going on can be crazy-making.

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    1. Yes, I see that roth...whatever is commenting. The comments almost seem as if they know others that follow my blog. So sad. I will permanently delete.

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  13. Sad how time to be with folks always gets bumped by the importance of work time! I want to slow down n visit grandkids myself. I never even get to phone chat with my daughter who lives across the state due to the phone not working at my home. Nothing i can do until I am able to find another acceptable place!

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