Dining with a Closed Mind or Where Do You Sit (fit)?

I somehow got on this dining memory streak and because the writing muse has totally gone on a long vacation deep into the heart of some black hole, I will have to go with whatever memory string hangs loose in front of me and create a weave of a story from that.  Wow.  Enough mixed metaphors for you?

Lets go back to Guam for this dining memory.  I was in my early twenties and full of career-minded visions.  I was working in a vocational school for young adults from the islands and a conference or meeting or something resulted in my trip to Guam.  I was living on a small island and flew out with one of the other teachers...a young Micronesian man.  I cannot even remember what he taught.  He was handsome and friendly and intelligent...looked a little like Benjamin Bratt except he was shorter.  I was happily and newly married, so our travel together was strictly professional.  We were staying at the same hotel and although he was attending a different meeting that day, we decided to have dinner together at the end of the day.  As I look back on this it was probably my idea and he felt guilty letting me dine alone and accepted.

I do not remember how we selected the restaurant or even if we got there in a rental car.  I remember that I was on some normal school girl planet and looked forward to eating a nice meal at the end of the day without another stray thought in my brain.  As we entered the restaurant, I noticed subconsciously that my dining companion was acting a little odd.  I could not put my finger on it, but I sensed something out of sync as we were shown to our table.  He seemed ill at ease, and I, being the sophisticated married worldly gal, was concentrating on making small talk and smiling and trying to get him to relax.  I thought, naively and egotistically, that he was just impressed with dining with an attractive woman his age, and concerned he didn't do anything stupid.  I knew that many of these 'local' teachers probably did not get to eat out often.

The meal moved on, but there was still an oddness about the stiffness of his behavior.  Mid-way he accidentally knocked a piece of silverware onto the floor.  I winced, hoping it would not mortify him even more, because this sort of thing could happen to anyone.  But, as he leaned over to pick it up I noticed two young men at a nearby table looking our way and chuckling with what appeared to be derision.  Instantly, little miss attractive, got her brain in gear and a casual look around the restaurant revealed several couples and others (about 25%) staring at us with what was clearly rude condescension and/or reproach barely hidden.  It was the first but not the last time I would be exposed to racism in all its subtle ugliness.  But it was one of the few times I would find the derision directed at me and someone I was with.

We finished our meal and returned to our rooms.  I did not talk about it.  I think I was too young to try an intelligent conversation and I am thinking he was more than relieved for me to forget the whole incident.

I rarely have to keep my radar up as a middle class "whitie."  I think it must be a real energy drain to always be compelled to have your radar running.

Dining Out Loud

I may have written about this a long time ago, but I am thinking not.  When my daughter was an only child (for about 2.5 years) we did a bit of around the world (well, half-way around the world) traveling.  Actually I flew alone across the Pacific Ocean and into the mid-west when she was only 8 months old and not yet born...are you following that?  The stewardesses blanched and almost did not let me on the flight.  Today, a future mother would probably need a doctor's statement for a flight of 15 hours not including the 2-hour layover in Hawaii.

Later, we were flying the other direction and she was 20 months old at that time.  Cuter than a bug's ear and quite the chatterbox at such an early age...clearly our little genius.  We landed in Guam around 8:30 in the evening and were starving.  The only restaurants open at that hour near our hotel were the few fancier ones and the only people eating at that hour were adults.  We were tremendously jet-lagged but not too tired to wolf down anything on the menu.  My daughter was so glad to be out of a plane seat that getting her into a high hair at the table required some persuasion until she smelled food and became amenable.  We tried to be as quiet and unobtrusive as possible because it looked like everyone was on their important evening away from the kids for a Saturday date night.  I think that was the quietest restaurant I ever ate in...although it could have just been my self-consciousness making me think we were the loudest party there.

Once our meal was finished and we were waiting for our bill, my daughter discovered that her spoon when banged on her plate made the most lovely clang.  Like a silver bullet each clang shot across the restaurant into the quiet conversations of the well dressed diners.  I grabbed the spoon from her hand and turned to put it out of her reach.  She immediately got her father's fork and continued with the tempi movement of her symphony.  Hubby raised his hand higher and with no grace indicated we needed the check as he removed the second utensil from her chubby fingers.  Not to be prevented from showing her amazing musical talents, she began the rhythm portion of her performance by clanging together the metal salt and pepper shakers with glee.  I could not believe that she had only two hands and two arms...but they moved with the lighting speed of a frogs tongue in meeting their goal.  I could not bring my eyes to meet the adults at the other tables,  some chuckling quietly and others groaning, and lifted her out of the high chair and through the door to the peace of the lobby while hubby waited for our bill.

It wasn't her fault nor was it the diner's fault for the clash in atmospheric expectations.  Had we had a better choice in time and place, we would not have brought her there.  I am sure when the customers made their reservations, they did not clarify that they did not want to be seated near any musical genius toddlers.

This whole experience came to my mind when I recently heard in the news about a restaurant in Pittsburgh that is no longer allowing children under six to eat there due to complaints from customers about the behavior of some of the children.  This is an upscale golf resort restaurant.  I thought about this ruling and while there were many that think children should be allowed to eat wherever and whenever and that this was discriminating, I really felt that a restaurant has the right to establish the type of mood and food they want to create.  I certainly do not want to sit next to a chaotic family if I was going out to eat in a nice restaurant for a special evening out.  That might be the kind of thing I would have every reason of expecting at the local diner or fast-food place.  ( I am guessing if that rule was in place on our memorable night, the restaurant would have taken pity on us and provided at least take-out.)

Your turn for input, agree or disagree?

Having Fun

We borrowed a sailboat and took an afternoon sail.

Went looking for ice cream with daughter and caught this image.

Not as many butterflies this year so I made this one appear to disappear.

As can be seen, I do not have the sophistication of a style or genre.  Another witness to my scattered brain.  But I certainly had fun creating them all.

Writing in the Third Person

Trying to keep track of her is like trying to keep track of that annoying summer fly in the bedroom while you are reading.  She buzzes in and then she buzzes out...creating an annoying distraction.  What on earth has she been up to?  She has at least a dozen half-read books scattered across her nightstand... symptomatic of a scattered brain.

Last time I saw her she was out in the garden staking plants that had been pummeled in the inch of rain deluge the night before.

Then 30 minutes later she was squashing Japanese beetles with her bare hands!  Yuck!

Then, just after that, she had her camera in hand and was adding ANOTHER 100 flower photos to her million plus files, hoping to find something that will attract attention on the Internet.

Now she is staring at the pile of laundry with her hands on her hips.

She should be making reservations for her fall trip to Colorado and Utah.  (OMG!  Does that mean we must suffer through  more photos?)  She should be planning the menu for the end of July trip with family to Hilton Head.  She most certainly should be exercising so that she does not resemble the beached whale in the swim suit when she gets there.

I give up...where is she now?  She is due for another blog post.

Thursday Thoughts #36---13 Things That Annoy Me

The world if full of annoyances which if not ignored will drive us to tearing our hair and screaming into the night sky. So we ignore them as best we can. Today I will list some of my favorites.

THINGS THAT ANNOY ME  (Listed in the order in which they burble to my consciousness...nothing 'pops' into my head anymore):

1. Salad Kits.  These can be found in the produce section and they are plastic bags filled with chopped greens, and perhaps, a plastic bag of dressing as well.  I do admit that if you do not know how to chop lettuce you should stay away from knives.  But a SALAD "KIT"?  Puhleeze...just shred the lettuce with your hands and buy a bottle of dressing.
2. Any 'Housewives of'  Television Show.  No further comment, except if you enjoy these you need to go to more of your family reunions for entertainment.
3. Comments from My Children on How I Spend My Time.  Yes, I do spend inordinate hours taking and processing photographs.  Why does no one comment on how much time a chef spends perfecting his skill, a weekend boat builder in spending years on his hobby, your husband and his sports related stuff?
4. Cleaning the kitchen sink and finding 5 minutes later it is covered in tea leaves.  Enough said.
5. Lowfat Yogurt.  This stuff tastes like something weird and certainly NOT yogurt.  Ice cream and yogurt have to have fat in them or they are not worth eating.
6. Plastic Wine Stoppers.  Real cork has been proven to be the more environmentally friendly way to go and metal screw on tops have been proven to be a better way to seal wines for aging.  I HATE plastic wine stoppers and you cannot tell you have one until you remove the aluminum wrapper and spend an hour trying to pull out the stopper!
7. Provocative clothes for any girl under 14.  You can complain about childhood promiscuity and the danger of pedophiles...but if your kid wears a bikini or tiny skirt I am ignoring you.  If your 14-year-old wears white skin-tight slacks I am going to hit you up the side of the head.
8. People who assume you have an open book in front of you on your lap because you are bored and want to talk to them.
9. Congress.
10. Picky Eaters.  Wasted time trying to plan a meal or choose a restaurant that makes them happy.
11. People who read over my shoulder.  I apologize, but it is a quirk I cannot contain.  Hubby knows better!
12. Mosquitoes after the rain.
13. Late Acceptances.  After inviting my son and his girlfriend down for the 4th two weeks earlier and not hearing from him we gave up and decided to head to the city for fireworks.  He calls at 1:00 that very afternoon and asks if he can come down with his gal!

Anything particularly annoying for you these days?  (The oyster photo has nothing to do with this post...isn't that annoying?)

Friends and the Roles We Play

Here is another take on people that help us.

I first met Oscar about 4 years ago when we were putting in our lawn to this new house. (The lawn in the photo looks much nicer than it is...mostly mowed weeds.) I had already started a few flower beds and it was early fall and I was attempting to clean out some of the areas around the larger plants.  I could tell he was interested in my work and so I attempted a conversation in simple English.  Oscar spoke Spanish but was able to give me some advice on some of my plants as he assisted with the lawn.  Perhaps there was an ulterior motive to his attention, because later that month when we wanted to move some larger plants my husband gave him a call and asked if he worked outside the landscape company.  Fortunately, he said he could work on the next Sunday.

Later we started that large paving project which disrupted that blue bird nesting I had written about.  Oscar and his brother and other workers spent over a week in our front yard tearing up the concrete sidewalk, aligning the driveway, installing pavers and putting down a composite to hold them.  They had to re-work some drainage and adjust a retaining wall.  The supervisor, who was not Spanish but an overweight good ole' boy, rarely moved his butt from the tiny earth moving bulldozer as he provided advice to the three laborers through arm waving and calling out.

Oscar was smart, followed instructions exactly, even gave some good advice and we ended up with a lovely driveway.

Over the years Oscar has been an irregular Sunday visitor to our home whenever we needed help with a project that hubby could not do alone but which was too small a project for the landscape firm.  He moved enormous plants, reset brick edgers, moved tons of earth, set up a small patio beneath my arbor and helped repair our deer fence.  He is always gracious and his English has gotten better.  Oscar has a generous smile and is a handsome man; I have watched him go gray.  He has two daughters the age of our President's that he has to leave back in Mexico with their mother for months at a time while he works in the United States.  He works at the whim of the landscape company.  Today he told us that they are laying him off for three weeks because of the slow down in demand.  He cannot afford to live here without a paycheck so is returning to his family during that time.  I cannot help but think how expensive this must be.  Expensive in monetary ways as well as expensive in personal ways.  His daughters have grown up and he has been far away most of the time.  He has had to live in a foreign land to earn money so that they can go to school, have clothes and a home.  I wonder how much they miss him.  I wonder if they will realize the sacrifices that were made when they have families of their own.  This lifestyle is somewhat like the lifestyle that military families must face.  Long days, perhaps even dangerous days, far away from their precious families.  Except our military does get benefits in terms of retirement and health care.  Oscar only gets an irregular paycheck.  I am sure (?) that the company would hire local laborers if they could find people who were willing to work under such arbitrary conditions and at such a low pay level.

I get a deep seated guilt (such is the disease of the liberal heart) when he is here.  We pay him slightly more than the landscape company and he is happy for the work, but I cannot help but feel uncomfortable in my safer lifestyle.  I feel like I am in one of those Hollywood movies and I do not fit the part, or if I am in denial...I do not like how well I fit the part.  I am blessed to celebrate the 4th in this country when I see the struggles other countries face trying to determine their path to a form of democracy that fits their culture and economy and with citizens that willingly come to our country for any job because they are aware of our unique freedoms and opportunity.

Helping Hands

I was thinking about the responses to my last post. If you are a handyman, it is hard to sit back and watch others do the work when you cannot. First, you have standards that are probably higher, second, you get pleasure out of seeing your accomplishments, third, you also like the puzzle and challenge, and fourth, you have a meaningful role in society. Sitting and watching sort of takes the air out of your tires.  When this opportunity is taken away, it can be hard to age gracefully and let others take over. I think it is much like the woman who was the great cook in the family having to turn over the job to others on holidays because she can no longer do it all.  No one can bake or roast as well as her, but we have to gracefully let others find their space.  While most of us like our independence and refuse to be waited on we should perhaps read Tuesdays with Morrie and try to emulate his generosity of spirit.

Another comment to the post was a question about helping in general.  The man I wrote about had had a very serious heart operation about two years ago and was bedridden for a while.  I brought over food and offered to food shop or stay at home so wife could get out of the house.  So, yes, these are neighborly contributions, and these are very important.  Perhaps, because almost anyone can do them, they do not seem as significant to me.  A silliness on my part, perhaps.

I just tend to be more impressed by the person who fixes my computer, my car or my toaster.  The one who looks at the corner of my deck and figures out the leak issue and then fixes it.  The one who can do that boring and frustrating stuff.

(Oh wait!  A really cool thing I once did when we lived overseas was upholster two seats for a homemade airplane for a handyman friend whose wife was an excellent seamstress but back in the U.S. for a month.  That was back when I could actually sew pretty well.  I was nervous doing it, but happy for a job reasonably well done.  The sewing machine and I now do not always speak the same language. )

Repaired

Middle class folks such as those of my household do not often ask for help on big projects from our neighbors.   In an agrarian society, barn building is a community event and fixing the old tractor can be done with the help of a neighbor or two.  As we earn more money, we become more isolated and less likely to ask for help.  Big projects we contract out and smaller projects fall by the wayside.  For example, I live in a rather fancy neighborhood where many of my neighbors hire landscape firms to take care of their large lawn and most have housekeepers.  My hubby is certainly not the handy type, and for now, I do my own housekeeping.

Yesterday I went to toast an English muffin in my upper middle class Krups toaster oven and when I removed the muffin, it was only slightly warm.  Hmmm?  I pushed the toaster button once again and after a time when the rods did not turn red, I realized something was wrong with this expensive 3-year-old appliance.  I checked the outlet, the fuse, and the plug.  The toaster itself was sealed like Tutankhamen's tomb and would require a dedicated electrician to disassemble for further investigation.

By mid-morning I had convinced myself we had to purchase a new toaster and headed out to the nearest store for this appliance. We purchased a model that was half the price and a less well known brand.  Once I got the box home and placed it on the counter a belated epiphany hit me.  I turned to my husband and told him that whatever was wrong with this old toaster/oven...it was something minor.  I just knew.  Maybe there was a fuse inside that had burned out?  I looked at the back with its dozen screws and then remembered that we had a neighbor who owned a rental farm and did all the appliance repair for his tenants.  He seemed to enjoy the challenge.  He was a very nice dude and so we decided to ask.

Well, it took him an hour, mostly spent taking it apart and putting it together.   He had guessed the problem even before removing the back and bottom as he had the same toaster/oven.  He said that the connector for the wires was usually flimsy and burned through over time.  He did not have a connector but had some electrical crimps which he used and now I have a perfectly good toaster and am planning a thank you dinner with neighbors sometime soon.  He lives in a very nice house but that does not seem to have made him brain or energy dead even though he is well into his 70's.

I often wish I had a talent that someone could use. I have sent some of my photo files to friends for wall deco, and have advised about plants, but I really wish I could do something more concrete in terms of being a plus in society...maybe some day.  My dad was an excellent handyman and my two brothers who live far away shine in that area as well.  I raise a wine glass to all those handymen who save the lives of us useless folks every day!

Eeahhh!

In my last post I mentioned that I had been doing some volunteer work for a local environmental group.  This involved hiking a mile through the woods (at three different places) and then taking a sample of the water from the river at the end of each of the three hikes.  Two of these locations required some down hill and up hill hiking and really got the heart beating and the sweat poring.  The last selection site was just off a highway and required hiking through debris that had either been thrown by cars or washed up by a nearby flood area.  That was the place I showed in the previous post.  Looks idyllic, doesn't it.  I neglected to show the sand bags, bottles and other stuff.

Hubby and I started this project at 1:30 P.M. and did not head back to the "lab" (really an extra room on the back of the museum/house) until 5:00 P.M.  We had to filter the samples for both chlorophyll and suspended solids which meant filtering six times...two for each sample.  Then some of the sample also went into a refractometer for a salinity check...the river was freshwater.  Finally three samples from each site were poured into little vials and labeled and frozen along with the filters placed carefully in foil.  I am just telling you all this to impress you with my technical skills.

I think we must have used a double filter for the first sample because we waited almost 20 minutes for it to filter through.  We reduced our sample from 300 ML to 150 ML and  the next sets took only 5 or 6 minutes to filter completely.  We also had to label the vials and the filters and create a data sheet as well as complete another log.  We were not done until 8:00 and we rushed through our cleanup of the area and headed to the nearby I-HOP for a quick dinner.  It was in the middle of dinner I remembered that I had forgotten to complete two blanks on the 'custody sheet' and so back we drove, retrieved the key from under the log as it got darker, tried to do this so that a nearby family having a picnic did not see we were getting a key, and made our way back into the little back room.

I am clearly not cut out for all the details of environmental work.

On top of all of this I have been tormented by chigger bites which I probably got when sitting on a log near the river's edge while writing in water temp numbers.  I have not had to endure these pests for years and had forgotten how miserable they can make you.  They are a mite, red in color, but too small to be seen by most human eyes, and when they bite you with special mouth parts they liquefy the skin after creating a feed tube called a stylostome of the skin cells.  Don't you just love this info?  This tube they create is the thing that causes the unbearable itching because they fall off when you first scratch and then die.  But the tube stays in for days.  You must NOT scratch because the more you scratch the more it itches!  It can take 10 days for this stylostome to reabsorb.  It is nice to know that their mouths are not very strong, and so, they prefer the tender skin of women and children.  I am now on day 6....ONLY FOUR MORE TO GO!   Eeeeaahh!

What is Your Excuse?

I have not posted because:

1.  My band width for which I pay many sheckles in gold has been painfully diminished the last few days.  It returned to normal speed just yesterday.
2.  Blogger will not let me load photos...I have discovered a work around 'cut and paste' but still unhappy.
3.  I have been busy collecting water samples in the river above ( a long story for another post).
4.  I have been on travel followed by company arriving.
4.  I have a more interesting post at my other blog anyway and suggest you go there for now and I hope the photos show up!

Old Stuff

There are people who almost salivate upon entering an antique mall or when given an opportunity to peruse the booths at an antique fair.  They make sure not to miss Antiques Roadshow (either the British or the American versions) on television each week.  And it is very difficult for them to just drive by a garage sale on an errand-filled morning.

I am not one of those people. I own way too much stuff and dusting is not my favorite thing to do.  While I find old stuff interesting and find a discussion of its creation or history interesting, it is only as an idle diversion.  I can count on one hand the number of times I have gone into an antique store and in most of those cases I was looking for garden ornaments rather than items to dust.
 
On a recent trip with my daughter we explored a large antique mall.  She was looking at antique jewelry and has a new interest in antique watches.  While I had fun looking at the items from my youth, antique lady that I am, it wasn't until I saw this vase below that I got motivated.  Most of my vases are generic from flower shops or previous interesting food containers and barely useful in holding flowers.
 
I saw this green glass charmer in a glass case and immediately bought it.  It is only about 5 inches high and perfect for flowers with broken stems.  I then spent the rest of the time looking at other vases throughout the store and found one more.  This is a tall art deco and I noticed after I purchased it that it was not truly vertical!

I have decided my new mission when I am bored wandering in an antique shop is to look for vases to replace my generic clear glass collection. (I have been having trouble with Internet band width and not able to do any blogging the last few days and while it has been good for my soul, it has kept me from posting.)

Motivation

Sometimes too much of a good thing is too much of a good thing. All of the days in my life are now Saturdays with only an errand or two on the agenda and the rest of the day to play.  No one thinks about being in such a situation some day when they are working a 50-hour workweek.  Let me give you a glimpse of the future so that you will not wander around with that deer in the headlights expression when you get here...you WILL someday.  What can happen is that, first, you lose total track of time.  You head off to your Thursday haircut and are surprised that everyone looks a little too directly at you when you walk in the door.  Then you find out that today is actually Wednesday and you hairdresser doesn't come in until Thursday...tomorrow!   Congrats, you just gained one whole day to your week of playtime.

I gain days and lose days with abandon.  They melt like snowflakes on the desert floor and I sigh with guilt when I lay my head against the pillow each evening realizing that one more jeweled snowflake has melted away and will never be seen again.  This also leads one to become a stranger to that feeling called motivation.  One does what one wants to do, NOT what one should do or needs to do or must do or even has to do.

I wander around my yard with either a camera or a garden trowel in hand until the angle of the sun reminds me that I should be thinking about dinner or calling a family member or getting the details together for that trip that is coming up.  It is like I was released from some time travel machine in a fantasy land and then the machine starts blinking reminding me I am back on the clock.

I used to work with lazy people like me.  I hated how they got the same pay check as I when all they did was show up to work and then wander from one office conversation to the next until the afternoon sun told them they had to do a few things at their desk before they headed home.  Retirement will not seem strange to them.

I, on the other hand, was full of motivation.  This motivation got me nowhere, but it certainly was overflowing in my spirit and probably irritated the hell out of other people around me at my work and certainly made my family roll their eyes on the weekends.  I could cram more items on a Saturday to-do list than anyone I knew, and just like the energizer bunny, get the majority of them done before the sun set.  I once painted an entire new 3,000 square foot house - primer, trim and stain - on just a few weekends.

Now my motivation is hiding somewhere.  I have a bedroom that has had spackle spots and faded paint for several years, I have floors with carpets that need cleaning, I have a fall car trip to plan, and I really, really, really should clean out a closet or two since I can no longer tightly close the doors!  But it looks like we just might get a nice sunset this evening down at the dock...so I will follow hubby who is checking on the crabs and then a couple of hours later my hunger will eventually make me walk back up and start dinner.  (THAT's where my motivation is, in my stomach.  Who knew?)

(And of course I went to here  to read Moannie's version of aging after finishing writing this!  We are both so cheerful these days!)

Recess

Taking a break from blogging.  My brain is a little fried and I have weeks of activity ahead.  Won't be gone too long.  You cannot get rid of me that easily.

My Virtual Love Letter

I could not have imagined a drift or even catching a tsunamic (yes I made a new word) wave into this community called Bloggers.  Who knew so many people wanted to put their thoughts into words and share those thoughts with strangers?  Each of my bloggers has at least one or two (if not hundreds) of lightning strokes of genius as they share deeply personal thoughts and parts of their recent days or years long ago and mold them carefully into phrases that reflect the humanity of man and in some cases true poetry.  They share their lunches, decorating efforts, cleaning processes, broken marriages, conversations with crazy folks and their unique as well as common thoughts.  While held up to the light individually, they may not have much substance, but when woven into the light of years of blogging they are the stitches of a tapestry of a unique and complicated human life.  They are the snare of the jazz piece.  They are the rare spice in the soup of mankind.  They are the laugh of that old joke told in an unusual light. 

If we had met at a wine or ice cream bar our outspoken ideas may have halted the minute we found our differences.  But with blogging we slowly learn that we are all so VERY much alike in spite of our politics, religious beliefs, sexual preferences, and taste in cooking.  My bloggers are patient with me.  They chuckle at my desire to really get their opinion on my photographs...a free lesson from the audience...and they sigh at my own efforts to try to write prose or poetry, but do not discourage me.  They cannot believe that I value honesty (with a spoonful of sugar) above all else.

That is the key.  NEVER discourage someone from trying to express their opinion but be willing to also express an opinion gently in a different light.  This world is changing at impossible speeds these days and we barely have time to sift the false from the true.  One thing I think I have learned is that truth is rarely exciting or shiny like a diamond (or winks at you).  Truth is gray and solid like a bridge to the future,  Truth always is in the distant light, and if we disagree, it is because we have not changed our rose colored glasses, quite yet.  

Through with the Fiddle and Faddle

The original in all its glory.

Number 1 with wind in the shrubbery hiding the laptop.

Made monochrome to hide the shrubbery blur and moved a tree!

Added back a little color.

Fiddled and faddled and tried the various suggestions and actually not looking for affirmation as was suggested by Grannie.  This is hardly a great photo for that!  I think I just miss not having a photography club nearby and after loading many photos to RedBubble and getting only generic compliments from other photographers...decided to try a new route.  I will not bore you in the future with this, rest assured.  Just a trial.  I took this with a Canon Powershot, so I guess the fidelity that I got from across the campus at a distance was surprising to me.  I do love this little camera that fits in my pocket.

I did not try to hide his face this time.  The photo when cropped is now much smaller and as a result would not be good for anything larger than a few inches in print...but I had fun(?) working on this.  Tell me if you like one more than the other and as you can see, I moved some landscape to cover the laptop and a tree, and no color filters were added.  You will need to click on photos to enlarge.  This would not pass muster for any publication other than the web.  I really appreciate those of you who were polite enough to take time to review and critique and that fact that this photo was not one in which I had vested any emotion, made it easier for me to take advice. 

Your Turn!

I recently took a stag's leap and loaded some of my photos onto a communal/commercial site called RedBubble.  It exists for artists of all types to show work, compare thoughts, and for a very few...to perhaps sell something.  One would never get rich at this, but an artist could get some small recognition and an outstanding artist would get his/her feet wet.

All that has happened to me thus far from this venture is some nice, very general comments from others...nothing I could grow by.  I was hoping that other photographers would critique (gently)...tell me to use a different filter, a different background, frame/crop it in "such and such way" or not be so lazy next time and actually use a tripod!  Or perhaps explain why they found it somewhat derivative.  Add to this the fact that the photographer cannot really view his work with a critical eye.

But they know the fragile nature of themselves and all artists and are afraid to even venture in that direction.  I, on the other hand, actually wrote to one photographer and had no shyness with my suggestions for a better background in taking a picture of an antique piece of glassware and she was grateful for my advice.

Anyway to get to my point and the purpose of the blog post title...I have posted below a photo I took recently at the nearby university campus.  When I uploaded it onto my computer I was touched by the love between the young couple revealed in their body language and his face.  I took the photo in a public place and was not using a telephoto, but I felt that not camouflaging their identity would be rude.

My questions to you (and answer honestly or not at all) is what do you think?  Opinions as a viewer...you do not have to know which end of the camera works...just your immediate reaction to this photo as an observer.

Does this photo capture that romantic feeling?
Have I ruined it by trying to use various software filters to hide identities?  Would it be better to just show him?
Is it so derivative it hurts your eyes?
Color and tone?  What do you think? (I tried for a romantic pink tone.)
Other compelling comments?
This is not one of my favorites ... so feel free to be honest.

Thursday Thoughts #35 -- News Tidbits

1. The columns of light beamed into the sky during the 9/11 memorial actually had to be turned off for a time because over 45 species of birds were drawn toward it away from their normal migrating path!
2. If you drink at least one cup of coffee a day, you are 23 percent less likely to have a stroke.
3. If you are not well rested you are more likely to take risks, whether it be gambling or making a serious financial decision...so I recommend you get some good sleep before negotiating on that house contract.
4. Your cell phone is the most foolproof on getting correct time over your watch, your alarm clock, and the microwave.  We have way too many clocks in our lives.
5. Yahooligans.com returns only kid-appropriate links if searching the internet with children.
6. According to Robert Brady (his May 22 post) things are even much uglier in Japan since the earthquake.  Seems that even the Japanese leaders lie to their people.  Her in ego-centric USA, we no longer hear much about this tragedy.
7. Obama's visit to Ireland was pretty exciting.  One would have thought he was a rock star...either that or the Irish get really friendly after a few pints.
8. I finally learned where the term meme came from.
9. I was excited about reading this.
10. Twitter paid 40 million to purchase TweetDeck...I am so behind on this stuff.
11. According to the New York Times "Climate scientists have told city planners that based on current trends, Chicago will feel more like Baton Rouge than a Northern metropolis before the end of this century."
12. Marriage is on the demise according to statistics...people just want to live together.
13. Someone discovered that the Republican candidates in the U.S. are going to "tweak" Medicare and Social Security so that instead of  a social service program, they operate more like a free enterprise service...who would have thunk this?

Holding On to the Center

I think that the one thing I search for as I age and find I actually have time to think  and search is the "Center  aka Balance."  I look for that middle ground where everything can clearly be seen, where, if I stand straight and tall with my arms out wide, I feel in complete and peaceful balance.  That place, where, if I stare straight ahead, I can see into those loving eyes of my family and read their minds and accept what is revealed...changes and all.  That place where I know I am home and there is nothing hidden or unknown that can take me by surprise.  That place that is safe and pure and honest and where I am not looking over my shoulder at the mess that is catching up with me, or the old age that is catching up with me, or that bundle of guilt that I keep in a dark locked trunk behind the shed door...the bundle that shows how much time in my life I have wasted and all the mistakes I have made.  It is that place where the future is only obvious change and not unnecessary challenge.

Truly retired means there are no longer any excuses for not being in the Center of your life.  Even if you are fighting a serious disease or supporting the fight of a medical challenge of a loved one...you finally have some time for concentrating on the Center.  Actually you must dedicate time to remain in the Center or you are of no use to anyone off-center.  In retirement there is no longer a career or children to pull me off-Center.  I always admire those people who find the gift in everything that happens to them.  Not the sugary frosting top bow...but the solid center gift of what happens to them and with a gentle sigh they can see and accept that it happened and realize it is there to make them pause and to grow to become more solid and able to fit in between it all.

On a graph sent to me by my financial adviser (yep, I do have one of those) the Center is that place in the middle of the graph where the Y and X meet.  This magic happens between the far flung four corners on this graph which are labeled Lower Risk-Higher Return, Higher Risk-Higher Return, Lower Risk-Lower Return and finally Higher Risk/Lower Return.  The only honest place and sure thing on this graph is Lower Risk-Lower Return.  The most attractive place is Higher Risk-Higher Return but there is not much air in this corner of the graph whether representing financial life or daily living and it is a place you cannot stay long but probably should visit briefly for the thrill every once in a while.  (It is funny how this graph replicates life.)

I live in a culture of excess with lots of glittery lights and magnificent smells, and addictive sounds and therefore, trying to find the Center with the coals warm glow and to remain balanced as I am made stronger by fire is a daily challenge.  It is like yoga and meditation...a most peaceful and rewarding place that allows you to forget about all the corners of your world, past and present, but it takes lots of work to get there and to remain there and most of all to just let go of the idea that you must be on a path to somewhere else.  The only place I must be is right here and right now.

Essential Things You May Have Missed Out On

It amuses and amazes me everyday how I have become that old person who looks back on life and wondered how I ever got through it without all the aids, gadgets, networks that are available today.

I raised two delightful and complicated children back then.  We did not have seat belts in cars and my friends who smoked were allowed to smoke while we went somewhere.  Miraculously my children survived both these dangers.  I unknowingly fed them foods in containers lined with carcinogenic plastics or probably sprayed with dangerous pesticides.  School lunches included the vegetable ketchup to balance the repast.  Abandoned refrigerators and mean dogs were the greatest fear in neighborhoods.

Because I am a technologically savvy grandma, I purchase gifts from my grandchildren via that new magical mall, the Internet.  These companies then automatically assume I need paper versions of their inventory as well and my mail box begins to regurgitate colored catalogs of items beyond my wildest dreams.

There are gates and locks and containers that even an enterprising raccoon would have difficulty surmounting.  Children now have their own luggage when they travel, and sunglasses and helmets when they are out riding in that dangerous but very comfortable stroller.  With the added cup-holder and side music speakers, as Fran Lebowitz says, they are never leaving that stroller.

In the latest version of one of these missives offering "thoughtfully selected products," I have the opportunity to purchase a Potty Watch that alerts small children with lights and music to remind them to go to the bathroom at preset intervals...I cannot help but think of a child who would become dependent on this and could not go to the bathroom without the alarm...you know, that idiot CEO at the board meeting!  I could buy a pillow that supports good posture in small children when they sleep...unless they sleep sideways across the bed as does my grandson #1 or with the pillow over their head as does my granddaughter.

There is even a strange device that one uses to remove mucus from the noses of little ones who have not mastered the art of blowing.  The mother puts it against the child's nostrils and then puts a little plastic tube in her mouth and proceeds to suck on the tube.  The text assures us that the mucus goes into a tissue and not the mother's mouth.  It still looks very unsettling in the photo (above) of mother and child using it.  The real clincher is that the publisher claims it has been used by European parents for years.  (They probably write in the European version that it has been used by North American parents for years.)

How did our baby "animals" survive without this stuff?  What new wonders will be available to my grandchildren when they begin to raise their little ones?  All of these do not belay the real dangers of global climate change, air pollution, water pollution, crime, drugs and daily stress that our little ones have to battle.

Hummingbird Moth

(I was supposed to post this on MY OTHER blog...but got mixed up and am too lazy to move all the html code...so here it is!)

This is Hemaris thysbe (at least I think that is what is is) commonly known as the Hummingbird moth.  Got these photos while he was hanging out at the dianthus pot on the back of my deck.  They turned out nicely, so, of course, I had to share even if in reduced pixel size!

There is not much known about this moth, except one site said the scientific name was based on the Pyramus and Thisbe  love story where Pyramus finds Thisbe's blood stained scarf assuming she had been killed and thus impales himself with his own sword.  The Hemaris part is based on "Haemorrhagia as a reference to blood-like coloration" 

I also found this quote  "The courtship behavior of hawk moths is very complex. It often involes pheromones, love songs and aerobatic flights. This type of behavior has been noted in the cream-lined hawk moth from Asia, and is currently being studied in the North American species. However, many different hawk moths, such as the ocellate hawk moth, also found in Asia, do not have these behaviors. Rather, they tend to have broader wings and fly more clumsily. They have no tongues, do not feed as adults, and show little courtship behaviour. (Kitching, 1999)"

I see this often in the summer and sometimes people think they are a stinging insect because of their size...not so.

Did You Disappear?

Several people commented in posts and even commented on my blog comments on the recent two-day outage of Blogger...although Blogger did not admit they were out of whack for that long because you could read what had been published in a prior time.  I had been pretty busy away from the computer during that time and only noticed at the very end when I was trying to check my posts.

It was a little frustrating for me not being able to post anything or read anything new, but because I am easily distracted  I moved on to something else. 

Some of you wrote that you felt as if you had been cut off from communication with an important side of the world.  I began to wonder if I would have felt the same if it had been a rainy or cold day where I was stuck at home with nothing to do.  If I had time to reflect, I am sure that I would have been a little panicked at not being able to get in touch with readers of my blog.  What if Blogger had gone down permanently?  I am sure they have back-up servers to return to a prior time...but what if?

Peruby has a disaster recovery plan idea which she wrote about.  I never thought about a back-up plan for a hobby, but that is an interesting thought.  How did you feel about all this?  Do you have a back-up plan?

Huh?

Our Master Gardeners are having their big plant sale this weekend and I have been very busy labeling and transporting small and large potted plants, building (!) plant benches and identifying plants. Earlier in the week I spent several days with my daughter helping with three little ones as her husband was on a week of travel.  She was nursing a cold on top of everything else....so, if you will excuse me, I really think I need a nap right now...then I will do research on this Blogger issue.

Bloody Murder at Tabor's Yard

(This is a warning that the following post may contain content too violent for children or adults with a sensitive nature, and no, Tabor did not kill her husband.)

It was a dark and stormy night...no, actually it was the middle of a sunny afternoon.  There were ominous shadows flitting through the trees...no, it was a beautiful spring breeze rustling the new growth and that is what tricked me, that made me oblivious to what was to come.  There were an unusual number of blackbirds flying back and forth across the lawn.  Thats lends a little ominousness to the mood...doesn't it?  There was also the sinister buzz of black flies in the air...the type found in any Stephen King soundtrack.

I had just emptied my overcrowded dish of plant succulents, finished their re-planting and was heading down my driveway to obtain some soil to mix with the sand.  As I walked I noticed ever so superficially something bright red on the driveway pavement...a lovely rose petal, perhaps?  I continued my saunter under the large leaning tulip poplar that will one day fall across this driveway and kill someone.

Then, without warning, I felt something wet fall onto the outside of my hand just below my watch band.  Rain released from a tree leaf?  I looked down and saw wet, red blood!  A nice juicy spray of drops across the back of my hand to the base of my thumb.  I looked up and saw the tulip tree leaves winking at me and nothing else.  I looked back down at my hand and quickly wiped away the blood on my muddy jeans, and that was when I saw body parts scattered across the pavement!  Truly a CSI moment.

Here's looking at you!

I backed up a yard or two and again tilted my neck to look into the tree.  Many of you have already guessed what I saw.

He was not going to interrupt his casual lunch of shad just because I was doing yard work!  Today I learned that osprey do not eat the eyeballs, and now I wonder why not?  And I realized how much they fertilize the earth when they eat... if not eating over a paved driveway, that is!  The ants were soon having a picnic, though.

And at least it was not bird poop that fell from the sky on me....

The Other Mother

Today's post is to honor those mothers who have lost children through disease, war, or accidents of life's decisions.  Today is a most difficult day for you to get through because it is the deep reminder of that river of pain you swim through each and every day as that child is no longer a part of your life.  Or perhaps, that child has disappeared into a dark alley of the world somewhere and while you think of them often, today their presence hangs most heavily on your heart as you wonder what has become of them.  Your memories of their face are static in time and do not console you.

Today I place a virtual hand on your shoulder and another across your heart and I lay my head on your shoulder as I try to understand your pain and wish you some peace.

Home is Where They Have to Take You In

To those who actually care, and with such loving surprise to me, some of you do...

Hubby is home! Safe and sound.

How do I know, other than I drove the hour and half to pick him up, waited an extra 30 minutes for him to clear customs, and managed to find my way out of the cell phone parking lot to the arrival area on time?

I know because even though he was tremendously jet-lagged he let me stop at the HUGE landscape place on the way back from the airport to buy $80 worth of plants and actually pushed (drug) the cart all over the cobbled paths for me.

I know because this morning there are shoes left under the breakfast table and a bill cap hat on the floor next to his chair. I know because I see the $300 binoculars left out overnight in the rain on the deck table (they survived nicely).   I know because he is not hungry at dinner but is hungry at midnight and I hear him rustling up some cereal in the kitchen and then watching CNN. I know because he is jealous(!) I hired a yard service for the next month. I know because his favorite teapot is now always on the counter.

I know because we spent 30 minutes yesterday afternoon looking for his cell phone (a familiar routine)...in the garden...in the cars...in the garage...in every room in the house.  After calling it and listening carefully we heard a kitten-sized ring in our closet where he had left it in some pants that he had worn and then shoved in a drawer!

Yes, he is home and my life is now busier.

Treasure Chests of Virtual Reality

There were days long ago when friends would send out a birthday card followed by a winter holiday card (Hanukkah or Christmas or whatever) and they would write a few paragraphs or if they had an ego the size of mine they would include a chummy newsletter that let the friend know all that had happened since we had last seen each other.  Sometimes we would include a photograph just to show we were indeed aging but still alive or to prove that our children and grandchildren were the most beautiful in the world.  These little histories might be tucked away in shoe boxes and if we stopped sending out mail our children or family would send out the notice of our passing sometimes months later after finding our address book or upon receipt of the letters at next year's holiday.

Grannie Annie commented in a past post about how hard it would be today to know why someone quit posting on a blog and how hard it would be to find out what happened to them.  In this modern digital age our lives are played out on Facebook, Snapfish, Phanfare, Flicker, YouTube, et al. by us and by others with whom we wander down our life's path.  Sometimes others may tell even more than we would like to share about us to their friends...many of whom we don't even know.  Those who are more communicative and with a little larger sense of their lives go forward with Blogs or Web pages and tell friends, family and frequently anyone who would watch and read, including total strangers, all about their memories and activities and opinions.

Our modern lives are held in "clouds" of digital pixels on servers everywhere and anywhere.  If I die tomorrow, not that I am going to, no one will be able to tell you that I died.  If it is not a professional site such as a newspaper column, perhaps no one will edit, preserve or delete anything I have written.  I have photo libraries stored in various places.  Yahoo has indicated that upon the receipt of a copy of an official death certificate they will remove the account.  Others have similar or no process in place.  I have a twitter account which I rarely use and only started it to stalk my son; I have an FB account, even an old password protected blog site that I have used on rare occasions to post only family stuff for relatives.  I even have old web pages somewhere that I created a long time ago and I can't even remember where those are!  All of these are accessible with various passwords and unless I give a directive and tell family where the password list is, I will become a cloud of information myself.

Certainly a site such as Facebook would be easier to inform friends of an important change.

I am still fascinated by these digital words and photographs shared across the globe.  Maybe some of this digital information will be useful to cultural archeologists or historical librarians, and in 100s of years, that which remains and can be uncovered will be sifted and analyzed and discussed.  But this is not like great-grandma's letters...it is hidden and easily lost.  Do any of you wonder about this stuff?  Do you care?

Romance

I had no intention of being a fan of the Royal Wedding.  I had avoided all the pre-programs and super guessing games and standard analysis and while I am not against happiness for this lovely couple...I really, really, really had no interest.

This morning I wandered downstairs to exercise (no applause as I haven't exercised in over a week) and flipped on the TV as I cannot run on the elliptical without some distraction.  I HATE aerobic exercise.  I had been watching a movie weeks ago on this channel and here at 5:30 in the morning... in my basement...what should I see... but the wedding procession just getting underway.  Since I was already on the running machine and had begun to work up a rhythm, I left the channel running.

It soon became fascinating.  All  the pomp and circumstance was captivating.  Even that old, cold Queen who had long ago given it up for England looked so lovely and warm.  No big grins on her face and no indication she was happy about this day...but she wore a lovely golden yellow and did allow a few royal smiles.  The sis almost outshone the bride with that lovely gown and the children were almost American in their desire for decorum to be over and done with already.

I heard that the wording had been changed to gender neutral...but they still went through the symbolism of the father giving away the bride as if she was property....or as if he had spent substantial time in raising her while her mother stood in silver gray in the background as mothers have done for centuries.  You know, the one who did the cooking, bathing, diapering?

The boys choir and the adult choir were stunning and the sermon to the couple was warm and intelligent, and all almost made me desire to get back into church attendance except there are no choirs or church bells of this magnificence in my neck of the woods.

AND I have to confess that I did tear up several times when I saw the love and excitement that the British citizens (all around the world) had for this beautiful couple.  I have to admit that this was the best reality show I have seen in a long time and I do wish them a lifetime of happiness and perhaps more important lots of good luck.

No Tornadoes, No Complaint

All we got was some very nasty winds and torrential downpours...but it was enough to dislodge these two tulip trees.  One had been damaged in the building of the house 5 years ago, but we thought the other was pretty healthy.  Notice that it missed the compost corral but did knock aside the bat house.  AND more money to fix that damn deer fence...AGAIN!  At least I am safe and my house is safe.  I will not complain.

So Where Is She?

So where in the heck has Tabor been?  Hiding under a rock waiting for a rain along with that garden snail?

No.  Perhaps she has been busy growing mushrooms...although she was sure she planted ageratum in this tray of annuals?

She has been busy keeping the many tomato plants alive in their containers for the plant sale coming up in a few weeks.

She has been dragging hoses from one side of the yard to the other.  She has been busy lifting heavy bags of potting soil and dumping the soil into various containers.

The on the odd hour she has been admiring the one or two planters that slept through the winter and put on their own spring show with absolutely no help from her!

What Can I Say?

What a strange feeling for someone who has been known for talking too much...to actually, factually, and tactually run out of things to write.

I could write about my inability to fit with Easter, although I have tried for decades to believe in this.  It just ain't gonna happen and writing about it will only alienate those for whom it is a deeply important personal time.  I could write about needing a Manners Manual for what to do when your family wants you to come for Easter and in the middle of the day they are planning on going to mass.  ( I was baptized Catholic but raised myself as a Methodist and raised my children the same.)  Now I am just a spiritual wanderer, happy when others pray for me, but not expecting any miracles.

I could write about the tease and temptress that spring is.  Going from 49F in the midday to 80F on another midday and me doing a plant dance of covering and then uncovering and then watering and then sheltering from too much rain all the little plants that I want to survive this year.  They are pushing their leaves against their plastic lids!!

I could write a long treatise on my plant ignorance having learned two days ago at a training session that sugar maple trees are most foolish to plant in the mid-Atlantic as Maine is even having problems keeping them alive as the weather warms more each year.

I could write about how I miss my husband but now that I have less than a week until he returns, I am a little sad about losing my independent days and the freedom of odd meals and even odder mealtimes.

Or, I could just be lazy and say I have nothing to write about!  Your turn.

Spring Green Thursday Thoughts #34

As Kermit the frog has said:  "It's not easy being green."  Humans are finding this out more and more each day.

1.  The ozone hole above the earth is the smallest since 2006 and may disappear by 2050 which is a long time from now.  I probably won't be alive then.

2.  Our recent budget bill passed by the U.S. Congress included the highly relevant removal of protection against shooting gray wolves.

3.  If you were giving out the 2011 Environmental Hero award I am sure that the actress, Darryl Hannah, would not be the person who would first come to mind...but she is getting the award.

4. In my neighborhood several folks leave on porch lights which I can see blazing the woods as I crawl into bed each evening.  These lights would not discourage robbers as there are many dark corner windows for them to explore.  I suggest we turn off all our outside lights at night to reduce light pollution which is a huge tragedy on this planet.

5.  The Environmental Protection Agency has proposed rules to reduce mercury emissions from coal plants by 91%. According to some politicians this would be too expensive for coal plants to implement.   I think it would be too expensive for baby lungs NOT to implement.

6.  Pollution for the copper mine chosen to produce metal for the medals awarded at the 2012 London Olympics is responsible for up to 200 premature deaths each year.  Sort of takes the edge off of the reason for the Olympics.

7.  In 2006 Brazil and Peru agreed to construct five dams throughout Peru, selling most of the power to energy hungry Brazil which has reduced its poverty rate to 15.3%.  Most of these dams will be built in the heart of the last rain forests in the world creating cities and new highways and jobs into the heart of the green.

8.  Kit foxes living in cities in California have a diet richer in corn products than their more rural cousins...probably due to corn syrup...i.e. junk food from trash.

9. Earth Week is almost over...how about using cloth for wrapping your Easter Gifts?  Turning off all lights at night?  Not using so many paper towels or turning off the continual rinse water when washing dishes?

10.  I did not know about this group!

11.  If you have children you might do one or two of these this week.

12.  The good side of rising gas prices is that we will be forced to pay for a fossil fuel at its real value.  Of course, those on fixed incomes and those who are poor will learn this lesson in an unfair way.

13.  When you go shopping today, look for things you need and not things you want, and please remember that there is no more away to throw it!

Pauline Hit the Nail On the Head

Actually Pauline hit the nail on the head with my prior post.  It was more the way my time was being jerked around by a broken car, broken appointments and no one to commiserate with!  I like being alone, but know it is not good to lead the life of a hermit in this day and age and force myself to get out the door and go somewhere.  I just wish other people and things would respect my time!

No One Cares That You Had Oatmeal for Breakfast

The kind of thoughts that the title above reflect have been tossing and tumbling about in my feeble brain this past week.   They are annoyingly self pitying and self centered.  Perhaps it is because I have been alone for weeks, perhaps it is because my step-nephew who was in the area called for a visit and then never showed nor called back, perhaps it is because my son has told me two weekends in a row that he is coming to visit and then cancels the day before, perhaps it is because my daughter is spending spring break with the in-laws at the beach, perhaps it is because my 12-year-old car is beginning to abandon me...perhaps it is because I do not have a dog.  (Of course, there is always the very real and more perfect danger that I could get used to and really like this hermetic and vacuum packed existence.)

You Can Fool Dumb People All of the Time

American college students, bored housewives, and elderly couples without a life are now in mourning across the country.  Afternoons will soon be filled with the reality of "real" lives instead of the drama of soap operas.  No, I do not really care.  I was addicted to soaps back in college and later when stuck staying at home with babies.  This was kind of stupid watching these serial dramas, since it was all that romance and hot body action that resulted in my being confined at home with diapers, humans that could not yet talk, and slow afternoons that were perfect for soap operas in the first place.

Now it is my understanding that today's economics have driven the daytime entertainment programming industry in a new direction so that now Americans will be watching real people 'act' out their lives instead of actors telling stories written by writers.  These 'real' people will be lousy at their jobs because their lives are filled with strife, arguments, sex, break-ups, alcohol, self-doubt, and all while wearing impractical clothes in the worst taste possible.  But some of these 'real' people will break out into more than 15 minutes of fame.  And if their enhanced cleavage holds up, and their hair stays thick and their mouth doesn't betray them, they may even get to give a college graduation address or two or perhaps write a book on why we should not make all the mistakes they have made in their pathetic little lives...sorry, my must be my envy.  Their public advice will not be free, but it will certainly not be worth what they are paid.  They will make six figure incomes while teachers and fire fighters and policemen and soldiers who lead honest lives will struggle to put food on the table.  Daytime reality stars will tell boring stories while real writers will struggle for the attention span of mediocre American minds on independent channels.  But the primary point is that reality stars will not make the humongous salaries of real actors (like that wonderful talent Charlie Sheen who milked his production studio dry...must have been that union he belonged to.)

Watching these reality shows will emphasize the worst behaviors and character flaws that can be found in our society.  They will be excellent examples of what not to do if you are watching with your teenagers.  Real reality would be boring to watch as it might involve intelligent people with mature ideas and cooperative relationships muddle through their days.  "Reality television' is an oxymoron like Fox's "Fair and Balanced" news programs.

For all of those who think American culture is now stagnating in a swamp of mediocre stimulation, it gives me no pleasure to agree with you.

The Survey or Was It?

Let us say that you have a local bank where you do most of your business.  Let us say that after the bad news on banks in years past, you really like this bank because it did not get bad press.  You like this bank because it provides good service and is conveniently located in both your town and also in the grocery where you shop.

Let us say that after numerous phone calls, from a phone number ID of Pittsburgh, PA which you did not recognize, you decide to finally answer the phone.  Let us say that the call is from the marketing headquarters of your bank and they really, really, really, really love your patronage and want to survey you as one of their favored customers.   (No, neither of your accounts is in the 6 figures.)  They want to know what it is that you like about their bank, and what it is that you don't like, and what you would recommend for better service to you, their valued customer.  I suggested higher interest rates which brought a chuckle on the other end.

Now answer me this question:

Why after this 8 ( golly it seemed like 20) minute phone call which you had to break off yourself with a false excuse, do you now know that the bank interviewer is 38, has a girlfriend, they are Redskins fans, they both love to garden, he will use your term 'therapeutic' in relation to gardening if you don't mind(?), they never buy tomatoes from the store...although the farmer's market can sometimes provide a decent tomato, the interviewer's mother is 70, both he and his mother lost a chunk of money in the market crash (through investments with Leighman Brothers), after which he fired his investment counselor, and as a final tidbit of info, he is now concerned because his mother is on a fixed income? Why is he telling me this?!!  I am not a Chatty Kathy, so I did not pull this out of him.  As a matter of fact, I barely got a word in edgewise except for answering a rare question or two.  As I stood impatiently talking to this man and staring out my front window, I almost thought it was a joke and that I was part of some 'you got punked' show expecting Brad Pitt to show up at my door cell phone in hand and big grin on his face.  Fat chance.

After several commiserating comments on my part which I was able to make while the interviewer took a breath, I then insisted I HAD to go.  He responds with, "Well, I still have several more questions to ask you.  Perhaps I can call you back later or in a few days?"  (Not in your wildest wet dreams, kiddo.)  With a smile in your voice you recommend he do that and then hang up the phone and make a promise to yourself not to answer any more phone calls with the ID Pittsburgh, PA.  (I now wonder if he was trying to get personal information out of me and this wasn't a bank call after all?  He did find out that I like to garden and I am not a Redskins fan.)

Sigh.

Do You Like Egg Salad?

I have been alone since the fifth of the month and will be alone until the end of April.  My husband is thousands of miles away attempting to start a business.  It is a long shot, but since it has become the project that helps him get out of bed each morning, I am letting him fly with the goals (not gulls).  I personally think the project has a snowballs chance in hell of going anywhere, because it has a large philanthropic component and not a serious profit motive and is being done in a foreign country.  He put in some money he made from working on a special project years ago.  He has a partner that is more than matching this money.  Tens of thousands of dollars (not hundreds of thousands which are really needed to start any business) and I see the money disappearing into the air.  This is their last ditch effort after several years of planning, negotiating, talking, getting permits, etc.  My husband is not a business man, he is a scientist and a dreamer.

If it is successful he will have to travel at least three times a year and be away for weeks at a time.  I do not worry about my loneliness; although I don't like being alone that much, I am adaptable.  I worry about an old man flying in a plane for 15 hours at a time!  I worry about his wanting me to go with him on some of these trips.  I have no desire to sit in an apartment in a remote village far from my home with little to do.  A week of photography and then I want to come home.  I want to garden and be with grandchildren.  I worry about the work this house and yard need.

If it is successful he can make a little money.  We do not need a little money.  Although with inflation just around the corner and with the government blase about releasing/overseeing the controls on investment regulations, we may need that money as a cushion after all.  I keep thinking it can go towards my grandchildren's education or my son's house someday.  (Rumor has it that the market is priming for another big dip.)

As you can see, I have much ambivalence about this whole thing that has been five years in the planning and is now coming to a head.  I kept pretending it was not going anywhere, but I misjudged my husband's stubbornness, as I have most of our married life.  These are the last years of our lives together and my energizer bunny of a husband is not comfortable retiring and watching the sunset.  Therefore, he should be allowed to live his life the way he wants...but  while I have eagerly followed him all over the world in previous times, I no longer want to do that either.  Do I dare hope that it fails and that he finds working here in the community rewarding?   I must teeter on this wall for at least the length of another a year.  Are those eggshells I see on the ground below me?

Thursday Thoughts #33...Thirteen Things I Learned in March

1.  Both men and women taste the same according to cannibals.  (Equality at last!)
2.  Republican State Representative Alan Hale from Montana thinks the drunk driving laws in his state are both draconian and adversely impact small businesses.  He wants the DUI laws repealed. ( Montana roads are NOT that empty.  I wish all these idiots had a country/state all to themselves.)
3.  Children who are the happiest, are the most likely to use drugs or alcohol to excess.  Children who face at least some stress in their lives are not.  (Remember these are likely percentages...not certainties.  The study was mentioned in David Brooks recent book.)
4.  Only 10% of children are actually born on their predicted due date.
5.  Daffodils do not always increase in numbers and naturalize, at least in my yard.  :-(
6.  One community has tried to ban a child who is allergic to peanuts from their school.  They want the child home-schooled so they can feed their children peanut products in lunches.  (Really!  Is the most creative they can be in solving this problem?)
7.  In a recent interview by Bill O'Reilly, Donald Trump began to question whether Obama was actually born in this country, and O'Reilly, to his credit, indicated he thought it was a stupid argument.  (He (THE DON) will never run for president because he will actually have to turn over his finances to be managed by someone else, but he will always say outrageous stuff because he is an attention sump.)
8.  If you are short on topics for dinner conversation perhaps you might want to discuss this statistical data and its meaning for your dinner guests.
9.  Or here where I learned that Indonesia has the highest number of twitter users on the planet.
10.  Japan first tried cement on the leak and then went to shredded paper and sawdust...does this have a familiar ring to anyone?
11.  This spring I got a third grandchild and this gal had triplets.  For live camera action, go here.  The nest weighs over a ton!
12.  This is an inspiring self-publishing story.
13.  I learned this month that even good writers (those far better than I) have concerns about their abilities to write.  I try to re-read my posts a few times before putting them up.  Typos and grammatical errors still squeak through, but my over-sized ego will survive when I see the mess ups.  Fortunately, I do not have to make my living at this.

(As a post script I cannot believe that lawyers (and others) with six figure salaries and excellent health care programs cannot get their act together and solve this budget issue!  Shutting down the government is a bigger mess than most people can comprehend.  One tiny effect is that federal libraries have significant gaps in their research subscriptions proving this.  The next time that Food and Drug scientist is looking for that unique study and has to wait several weeks to get the article Faxed to the office, let's hope it wasn't about something you ate.)

Turn around and you're a young wife with babes of her own.

Once again Tabor's world has shifted dramatically, not with the agony or pain of an earthquake, but with the dramatic entrance of a new life. Grandchild number three arrived at the very end of March into this lovely family.  Already Tabor follows this tiny face and eyes and actions as if this was a delicate needlework tapestry.  Since she cannot see the big picture, yet, she will focus on the details.

Who will this new person be? How will he fit in with the solid and established family unit?  Will he be the exotic and unique flower in this garden of love, or will he be the magnificent oak that spreads and overshadows all with his living energy, or will he fit in comfortably like a perfectly shaped shrub, unnoticed until we turn to check on him.  Daddy wants an athlete, mommy wants a loving child, and the grandparents want a healthy and happy child.  Can he meet all these expectations?

Within 24 hours he was trying, with much success, to lift his head when held against my shoulder, and therefore, I already know he is going to be a force to be reckoned with in years to come.